Sue Capes' life and interests - Dad and the Chelsea Pensioners

My Mum, Molly Costley, (nee Minnie Wade), died in January 2001 at the, not bad, age of 84 (still too soon, though - we still miss her a lot).

Dad, Bob Costley, (Robert John) was completely bereft and we were at a loss as to how to console him. He refused to come to live with us, saying that he would be intruding, though we'd have been delighted to have him - a fit, active, practical and inquisitive man, who had his first go on skis at the age of 88, only a month after Mum died!

One day in July of the same year, he startled my football-loving husband, Peter, by saying he had a "Trial for Chelsea" and would Peter run him up there from his home in Loughton, Essex?

Feeling that the club must be pretty desperate, but wanting the best for my Dad, Peter gladly agreed.

Chelsea, turned out to be The Royal Hospital, Chelsea, home for retired soldiers, and Dad had applied for, and been offered, a 4-day trial stay. Though not a career soldier, Dad had served, during WWII, in the Royal Artillery, being one of the fortunate survivors of the Dunkirk evacuation, finding his way back to Blighty on a merchantman. Badly traumatised by his war experiences in France and at home (which I won't go into here), he was released to the MOWB (Ministry of Works and Buildings) to help to rebuild poor battered and bombed London, and he was granted a disability pension which assured him of eligibility to the Royal Hospital should he become in need of it. Full details of eligibility to Chelsea can be found here. The site is worth a visit out of general interest too.

When we collected him at the end of the stay, he couldn't stop talking about it. His only complaint being that he couldn't move in soon enough. Feeling a little worried that he was rushing too many changes, we nevertheless realised that the cameraderie would be a god-send - sharing his life with other bereaved, and otherwise single, gentlemen and having a full social life with activities and trips overseas. He was (after cajoling them a bit) given an early date to move in - August 20th.

He couldn't wait, and was all smiles the day he left home. Within a couple of days he had two new uniforms - everyday and formal - becoming one of the famous, and much respected, 'Gentlemen in Scarlet'. A new family name was bestowed - Chelsea Bob.

He had also made a new best friend, who joined around the same time, William 'Paddy' Fox, career soldier - recruiting sergeant, and holder of the British Empire Medal. 20 years Dad's junior, Paddy still refers to him as 'My Dad' and I let him get away with it, though it's a problem when he says Dad still hasn't given him any pocket money!

Paddy is a great advert for the Royal Hospital, rightly proud to be seen in scarlet, he travels the country, telling people about the place, frequently giving talks to schools and sometimes dragging a publicity-shy and reluctant Dad with him. He also has an allotment garden at Chelsea and grows the most glorious flowers which often find their way onto the 'Long Wards'

During his first year at Chelsea, Dad was promoted to Corporal (Hospital ranks are rated higher than those 'imported' from active service, so when he eventually became Sergeant, he outranked Paddy with his lifetime of active service as a sergeant - so Paddy got himself a Hospital Sergeant's post too!)

Also, during this first year, Dad got himself photographed for the newspapers beside a Chelsea Flower Show garden, took a group trip to Guernsey to join in the annual Liberation Celebrations, joined the bowls team (he'd never played before), and was inspected by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace during a special event featuring all the companies of Queen's Bodyguards in honour of Her Majesty's Golden Jubilee. We were priviliged to be able to attend the parade but the only photos I have are copyright so all I can show you are the ones taken afterwards at the party back at the Royal Hospital

Palace trips apart, the one big annual event in The Royal Hospital's calendar is Founder's Day, taking place (usually) on the first Thursday in June to commemorate King Charles II, who arranged for the Hospital to be built by Sir Christopher Wren. The inscription along the colonnaides in the main square reads:

IN SUBSIDIUM ET LEVAMEN EMERITORUM SENIO BELLOQUE FRACTORUM CONDIDIT CAROLUS SECUNDUS AUXIT JACOBUS SECUNDUS PERFECERE GULIELMUS ET MARIA REX ET REGINA ANNO DOMINI MDCXCII

which officially translates as: For the Succour and Relief of Veterans Broken by Age and War, Founded by Charles II, Enlarged by James II, and Completed by William and Mary in the year of our Lord 1692

(though it's clear that the official translation omits the 'King and Queen' bit after William and Mary)

What the inscription doesn't say is that in popular local folklore, it was Charles II's mistress, Nell Gwynn, who, having seen some old soldiers in a pitiful state, begging on the streets, persuaded her lover to help them in some way. There is, sadly, no evidence to support this story.

To commemorate the fact that Charles II hid from his enemies in an oak tree, on Founder's Day his gilded statue in Figure Court is draped in oak branches, and every guest and In-Pensioner wears a sprig of oak leaves.

This is the most moving part of the parade for us - when those of the In-Pensioners who are able, march in front of the Inspecting Officer - always a member of the Royal Family - to the music The Boys of The Old Brigade (Myddleton arrangement) (This is not the Irish political song of the same name, but a traditional slow military march)

In 2006, the Queen, herself, took time out from her busy schedule to perform the duty of Inspecting Officer and she gave an excellent speech.

In the 9 years (as of 2010) that Dad has been a Chelsea Pensioner, he has been on trips to Cyprus (with the bowls team), Salamanca (battlefields commemoration), Monte Cassino (battlefield), Algarve (bowls again), Jersey (selling poppies), Guernsey (again), Dublin (ostensibly to see the Irish equivalent of the Chelsea Hospital, but really for the visit to the Guinness brewery), and the army alpine training centre in Bavaria plus any number of official visits in the UK, including the launch of the new

In 2007, The Chelsea Pensioners were granted The Freedom of the Borough of Kensington and Chelsea and they marched down the King's Road as is now their right. Dad said it was wonderful - everyone wanted to shake their hands, even the police on duty along the route, and everyone was so happy.

When Dad became a sergeant in 2004, he took on two jobs - one as Ward Sergeant, responsible for admin, post, leave passes, repair requests, sick lists and basically checking that everyone is still alive in the morning! His second job was on the social club committee, becoming bingo checker, pot-man, bouncer, dress code enforcer and silver service waiter for the officers on special occasions. It also got him lots of female friends from amongst the honorary club members and officers' wives, so he wasn't complaining.

I visit Dad as often as I can on a weekly basis and we usually end up playing snooker on one of the two full-size tables - he nearly always wins.

Peter says I go up there to see 'my boyfriends' as whenever he comes with me, he sees me being chatted to, and kissed, by some of the lovely gentlemen I've come to know as friends.

Dad has a mobile phone and is quite capable of reading and sending texts, though his spelling is a bit iffy and he has occasionally thanked me for the massage !

The Hospital also boasts two 'cyber cafes' and Dad learned quite early on how to send emails and to surf the web, though he forgets, quite quickly, how to do things and needs to be reminded from time to time.

Every December, as part of the build-up to the Christmas festivities, the Dairy Council presents the Royal Hospital with a huge range of cheeses. This is a full ceremonial occasion and one Pensioner is selected each year to cut the cheese with the ceremonial sword. In December 2008 Dad was asked to perform this prestigious function. Actually, he says he wasn't asked, he was told, but I don't think he minded.

This is a video of the cheese ceremony in 2009. Dad is there, briefly in shot, but he'd done his 'turn' the year before.

In February 2009, Dad tripped in his berth (he admits it was carelessness) and hit his head. He felt OK, just a bit sore with a small skin split, but the next morning, on his way out of breakfast (in the magnificent Great Hall) he felt a bit wobbly and was taken to the infirmary. I received a call at 8.15am to say that they suspected he'd had a stroke and he was being sent to the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital to be checked over. He had, indeed, had a stroke, which affected his right arm and hand and his right leg. Luckily his speech has not been affected but he has struggled to regain his mobility. Even though the stroke was caused by a clot, not a bleed, he was told that the fall had nothing to do with it but we both think it must have.

On being discharged from the Chelsea and Westminster, he was returned to the brand new Infirmary at the Royal Hospital, just about at the time it was due to be officially opened by the Prince of Wales and Lady Thatcher, after whom the Infirmary was named (she is a patron, and regular visitor to the Hospital and its Chapel) Dad was asked to be in the gym for the opening and was positioned at a shoulder exercise machine. When Prince Charles asked "What's going on here then?" Dad replied "I'm the one who pulls the strings around here, Sir."

Nothing wrong with his wits then! Prince Charles and Matron (Colonel Laura Bale RRC) clearly enjoyed the comment.

Dad was allowed back to his berth as soon as he could manage stairs. Initially, he managed pretty well with a stick most of the time. During the early part of summer 2009, he even had a go at playing bowls. His bowling was still pretty good, though walking up and down the green was tricky.

His determination to continue as normal was observed by the officer then in charge of the bowls team, Colonel Nigel Gilbert, who arranged for Dad to be presented with a special award to cover the previous season (during which he had still been a team member) of 'Bowls Personality 2008'.

Instability on turning caused Dad to take a few tumbles which seem to have loosened his replaced hip (also on the right) and made co-ordinated walking even more difficult. He now mostly uses a four-wheeled rollator, much to his frustration, and, of course, is unable to march at Founder's Day or to go on overseas trips. Sadly he just missed the 2009 bowls trip to Tunisia with the timing of his stroke.

With the completion of the new Infirmary, it was time to revamp some of the old berths. Dad had been turfed out of his first berth when that wing was needed to be converted into the temporary infirmary. He moved on two occasions when, first, a Corporal was needed in Ward 12, then when a Sergeant was needed in Ward 3. Once the revamped Wards 23 and 24 were ready, those who'd been moved were allowed to move back if they chose. It had been over 6 years and many had sadly passed on or become infirm. Dad and Paddy, the dynamic duo, opted to return to quarters which now boast en-suite wet rooms.

They now share quarters with the ladies who joined the ranks of In-Pensioners in 2009 and Paddy lives next door to Marjorie.

Dad found the packing and moving quite stressful and tiring, but has perked up again since.

We had a scare in April 2011 when the Hospital contacted us while we were away on a cruise to say that Dad had been very ill and wasn't expected to survive for long. After much debate and discussion with the Matron I decided not to rush back as Dad had specifically asked them not to tell me. We arrived at his bedside 5 days later to find him weak but in reasonably good spirits. From then on he picked up a little each day but it has left him much weaker than before.

Dad has just celebrated his 98th birthday though golf is no longer a possibility. He is now fairly immobile as he says his legs don't want to hold him up for long but his wits are still intact and he can trade banter as well as ever. Paddy joined us for a slice of birthday cake.

Dad lives permanently in the magnificent new Margaret Thatcher Infirmary where the nurses can keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't fall. He still has an eye for the ladies and the nurses are frequently being chatted up. They all seem to love him though and we can't fault the care he is receiving. He needs oxygen (as you can see from the photo) some of the time but can come off for long enough for me to take him out in the wheelchair. We like to walk around the lovely Ranelagh Gardens in the Hospital grounds as well as to visit some of his friends in the 'long wards'.

Dad is hardly ever using oxygen now and, after a few weeks when he was unable to stand and had to be taken to the bathroom on a ghastly hoist contraption, is now walking again with a zimmer frame. His determination continues to astound everyone. In October 2011 we were very pleased to have a visit from Dad's former "Captain of Invalids", Colonel Nigel Gilbert, who retired a couple of years ago. In Dad's early days at Chelsea, Colonel Gilbert took him under his wing and encouraged him to join the his bowls team and to travel overseas. He has also been very helpful and friendly to Peter and myself, on one occasion getting us into a 'proper' day of the Chelsea Flower Show on a staff pass! Colonel Gilbert is very much missed as an active officer at the hospital but he keeps in touch with the goings on, returning for Founder's Day and other occasions and I was delighted that his visit to Dad coincided with one of my visits.

Disclaimer: The stories and views expressed here are personal to me and my family. They do not purport to represent the Royal Hospital, Chelsea in any official capacity. For information about the Hospital, its officers and staff, eligibility, and functions, please visit the Hospital's own site. You may use this link if you wish. The two videos have been embedded directly from the Youtube website, courtesy of their owners, and they remain the property of those owners. I accept no responsibility for their content or continued availability.